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The Silent Guardians!

The Wonderful World of Mary Matthews

Our heroes found themselves in some sort of altered reality. They were still in the dorm room, but it was different – Ayumi’s side was full of tiny stuffed animals and lots of pink clothing, while Mary’s side was palatial and dark, with lots of candles, skulls, and old books. Weird. Mary came out of her trance, pleased that her spell had worked. The Silent Guardians were demons, she explained, summoned by her spell and bound to serve her. When the heroes looked at themselves, they found that their shapes were different, twisted into demonic forms of their previous selves.

Mary immediately gave them their first command – she needed to get ready for class, and Ayumi was in the shower. Their first task was to get her out of the shower! They were naturally confused – after all, Synapsiswas right there with them. But upon entering the bathroom, they saw that Ayumi was indeed in the shower. However, her appearance was different than normal; she looked like a little girl, with exaggerated, stereotyped Asian features. And she didn’t want to get out of the shower. The Guardians finally lured her out with a math problem that Dr. Decibel came up with (oh, that’s just horrible).

With stereotype Ayumi happily working on her math problem, Mary charged into the bathroom, and the Silent Guardians grabbed Confuto Tractus Vox and hightailed it out of the dorm room. Students in the hallway didn’t seem to notice their demonic appearances – in fact, they didn’t seem to notice them at all. The Guardians briefly debated their course of action, and finally decided that they should hang around Mary and find out just what was going on.

Outside, they saw that the campus showed signs of the demon invasion of the night before – large gouges in the ground, smashed vehicles, and uprooted trees. But nobody seemed to pay the damage any mind. Hmm, what was that all about? It was here that Mary and her new demon slaves saw Heather Harrison and Lance Bishop getting friendly with each other, and Mary was noticeably jealous. The Guardians figured that they could use this fact to their advantage somehow; and Mary began to think of ways she could use the Guardians to do something about this.

The first class was Prof. Hadik’s math class. Mary was called up to the board to show Euclid’s proof of the Pythagorean Theorem. Naturally, Mary had no idea how to do this, and called upon her new demon slaves to help her. The math problem turned into some strange word game vs. the laws of mathematics, but the Guardians won by using spontaneous illogic.

The next class was English Lit, where the class had been discussing Gone With the Wind. Mary had trouble keeping her eyes open, and began to doze off. Jaguar tried to keep her awake, but ultimately failed, and Mary finally fell asleep.

She drew the Silent Guardians into her dream with her – they found themselves in the sitting room of a large Southern plantation. Mary was there, dressed as a Southern Belle, as was Brian Jackson (as a slave named Jack) and another slave named Lizzy. Jack ran into the room hollering about Yankees at the door. The Guardians went to investigate, and found three Union officers, better known as Prof. Hughes, Prof. Miles Weston, and Lance Bishop (again). The officers announced that they were there to liberate the plantation and its slaves, and to take Miss Mary Matthews (“surely the most beautiful lady the South had ever birthed”) into custody. The officers argued amongst themselves as to who would take Miss Mary into their personal custody, Mary declared that she had no interest in being liberated, and the Silent Guardians told the officers to scram.

Naturally, the Union officers would not be dissuaded so easily – they ordered their force of 20 soldiers to attack! Half of the force headed around to the back, while the other half attacked the front of the building. Dr. Decibel and Synapsis (along with BJ/Jack) took a position at a window to fire at 5 of the soldiers, while Jaguar, followed closely by Pythagoras, leaped into the front lawn to take on 5 more. Mary, Princess Python, and Lizzy all ran upstairs to hide.

It was business as usual for the Silent Guardians – Jaguar fought hand to hand against his foes, while Dr. Decibel blasted many of the soldiers he was fighting, and Synapsis struggled to have any affect on the battle, whatsoever. She eventually ran back to the kitchen to see what mischief the other 10 Union soldiers were getting up to. Sure enough, they were coming in through the back. She used her forcefield to try to keep them at bay, but it would only be a matter of time before they overwhelmed her with superior nummbers.

Meanwhile, Pythagoras and one of the soldiers fought an epic battle of swing/whiff. The soldier did manage to stab Pythagoras with his bayonet, but the giant python would not be taken out so easily – Jaguar was there to save his bacon…

The soldiers in front of the building defeated (unconscious or running off into the woods), Dr. Decibel, Jaguar, and Pythagoras ran back to the kitchen to help Synapsis. Those soldiers were driven off, and…

…the bell rang. Class was over.

Mary decided that she was skipping the rest of her classes for the day. She needed to get to Emily’s to pick up her gown for the Vampire Club Ball that night. She also declared that her new demon slaves would need appropriate attire.

At Emily’s, Mary and the Silent Guardians ran into three more members of the Vampire Club – Nadya, Natasha, and Nefertiti. Mary and the three beautiful women exchanged cold greetings, and Mary went off to try on her dress. The women were much more interested in Jaguar, and he in them, so they had a little chit chat on their own. Mary commanded the rest of the Guardians to hold her purse while she tried on her gown, but once in the dressing room, the surrounding mannequins turned into real women and attacked! “Mary must not be allowed to attend the Ball,” they said as they advanced on the dressing room. Synapsis telepathically shouted for Jaguar to come help them. He noticed the small smiles on the faces of the vampire girls as he rushed to join his companions…

The mannequins were soon defeated, and Mary announced that she was pleased with her gown. She pulled Princess Python aside to look for an outfit for her. The rest of the Guardians wandered around the dress shop, and noticed three strange mannequins. These mannequins were surprisingly lifelike, and were dressed like superheroes. A large winged cat sat at the foot of one of them, and the cat introduced himself as Mr. Fluffy, a member of the Challengers of Infinity!

Mr. Fluffy told the Guardians that they were all trapped in one of Mary’s spells. The Challengers had been at the very edge of the spell, and were thus unable to interact with this world the way the Guardians could. Rowdy Rosey – a member of the Challengers and a wizard – cast a spell to try to communicate with the Guardians. She isn’t a very good wizard, though, and her spell affected Mr. Fluffy instead of her. Mr. Fluffy doesn’t fully understand what’s going on, but he tried to explain to the Guardians as best he could.

Mary’s spell is sort of a dream world – it’s how she sees the world, sort of, but with the strangeness common to dreams. It’s also the real world, and her actions (and those of the Guardians) will have repercussions! Mr. Fluffy suggests that the Guardians do what they can to make sure that Mary doesn’t do too much damage to the real world in her dream, but play along. Something like that. He says that Rowdy Rosey is trying to figure out how to wake Mary up, but fears that doing so could be “bad.” The spell might have to run its course, but Mr. Fluffy has no idea what that means (it was just something that Rosey said).

So what’s next for the Silent Guardians? They’ve agreed to play along, but what does that mean? Also, who is trying to keep Mary from attending the Vampire Club Ball? And, more importantly, will they end up finding dashing outfits for the Ball? Stay tuned!

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